Obama meets Major-Major

The feud between President Obama and Fox News is simmering down, as evidenced by this video, but there's still fence-mending to be done.

quote/unquote ...

"The truth is that every morning war is declared afresh. And the men who wish to continue it are as guilty as the men who began it, more guilty perhaps, for the latter perhaps did not foresee all its horrors."

----- Marcel Proust, novelist (1871-1922)

"Do not try to live for ever. You will not succeed."

---- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"The yells and animal noises which the nation listens to on the radio programme 'Today in Parliament' have nothing to do with disagreements about the way the country should be run, or how much fuel should be given to old age pensioners at Christmas time. They are cries of pain and anger, mingled with hatred and envy, at the spectacle of another group exercising the 'power' which the first group covets; alternatively, they are cries of alarm as the group in 'power' sees its territory threatened. Old age pensioners are mad if they think anyone actually cares about their wretched coal."
------- Auberon Waugh as political correspondent for The Spectator

(Editor's note: "quote/unquote" is compiled in St. Louis by Wilson, who is not on Facebook.)

Stimulating nonexistent congressional districts

There are 32 congressional districts in the great state of Texas and not a single on goes by the name of the 91st District of Texas, which received federal stimulus money that could just as easily be given to me, because I, in fact, do exist.

What the ... ?

Watchdog.org reports $6.4 billion in stimulus money has been sent to congressional districts that don't exist.

Texas Watch Dog reports $14.7 million went to phantom congressional districts in Texas.

Government says it's just a paperwork problem, a human error problem, some people don't know what congressional districts they live in when they're filling out forms and such.

Can't wait til the government runs the healthcare system.

Bet John Cornyn can't do this

Bud $250K lighter for double rods display

A quarter million samoleans?

That's a lotta dough to lose for flipping the bird(s) at a sporting event, but when you're a role model like Bud Adams of Houston, who parlayed a $25,000 initial investment in the Houston Oilers into a team in Tennessee that's estimated now to be worth ONE BILLION dollars, it all comes out in the wash.

Bud Adams apologizes to everyone for Double Rods display yesterday

It seems like if you're 86 you shouldn't have to apologize for shooting the bird, but Bud Adams, owner of the Tennessee Titans, did anyway today.

Mr. Adams flashed double rods yesterday at the Buffalo Bills on the way to his team's convincing victory over the upstate New Yorkers, which of course was reported by the media because we all have the right to know such things.

We're not sure if this sinks his nomination for induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year, but it probably didn't help.

(We've taken the position that since Ralph Wilson, the Buffalo owner, was approved for the Hall last year, Mr. Adams might as well be, too, even though we realize many Oiler fans don't care for the man. Even so, we blame then-Houston Mayor Bob Lanier for running Mr. Adams and the Oilers out of town back in the day since the powers-that-be eventually turned around and coughed up a lotta public money to build a stadium for the Texans. Oh well ...)

Anyway, Mr. Adams said his behavior was wrong, said a report from the Associated Press.

"I do realize that those types of things shouldn't happen," Adams said in a statement. "I need to specifically apologize to the Bills, their fans, our fans and the NFL. I obviously have a great deal of respect for Ralph Wilson and the history we have shared. I also understand there will probably be league discipline for my actions and I will accept those."

Whatever.

We still say, if you're 86, fuck it, you should be able to do shit sometimes without people clucking about it.

Bud Adams gives Bills a Double Rods salute

From the Titans Insider blog:

Titans owner Bud Adams was mighty happy to see his team defeat the Bills on Sunday at LP Field.

The 86-year-old owner made an appearance on the sideline in the closing minutes, and even did a little dance as the Titans capped a 41–17 victory.

Then he turned toward the Buffalo sideline and gave the Bills the middle finger. Make that two middle fingers — Adams was using both hands.

Earlier, the native Texan flashed a "Hook em' horns" sign to fans in the West sideline seats.

It capped an eventful afternoon for Adams, who watched much of the game with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. It will be interesting to see if Goodell has any reaction to Adams' special salute to the Bills.

At least one Titan thought it was pretty funny.

"I don't know if he did it, but I condone fun things,'' cornerback Cortland Finnegan said. "If he was having fun doing it, then by all means, do what you do.''

Added Titans linebacker Stephen Tulloch: "He is a cool owner and it is good to see him around here supporting us. To have an owner like that, it's cool.''

Women's soccer? No pussies allowed!

[via The Z Report]

"Fake AP Stylebook" may become a book

I've got two or three AP Stylebooks stuck in boxes around here. Not sure why I've kept them all these years. Probably should have paid more attention to them, looks like, cause now a couple of jakelegs have made up entries for a "Fake AP Stylebook" on Twitter that could become a book.

(Aside: What is an AP Stylebook? It's a book designed to answer questions about how to word stuff in a newspaper article. Reporters, in our experience, always have one handy but rarely refer to them, preferring to let editors change their copy "because that's why they're editors and that's what they're supposed to do.")

Anyway, Media Nation interviewed the founders of Fake AP Stylebook, if you want the full story.

What kind of journalistic style advice can you get from the Fake AP Stylebook?

Some examples:

* When referring to Lake Titicaca leave a lot of space afterwards for your readers to just laugh and laugh. (See also: "Ball State")

* For unnamed sources, agree on an attribution that gives the reader an idea of who it is. Ex.: "rhymes with President Bobama"

*Refer to him as "Infallible Supreme Leader of the United Smurflands" when he first appears in the article, then "Papa Smurf." afterwards.

*Always capitalize Satan. You don't want to get dead goats from those people.

* TIP: When covering City Council meetings, the Mayor is often the one wearing a large sash emblazoned with "MAYOR."

quote/unquote ...

"McKee is a longtime football fan. She is from Wisconsin. She had two statuettes of Brett Favre, the former Green Bay Packers quarterback, on her bookshelf. On the wall was a picture of a robust young man. It was McKee's son -- 19 years old, six-feet-three. If he had a chance to join the NFL, I asked her, what would she advise him? 'I'd say 'Don't. Not if you want to have a life after football.' "
--- "Offensive Play," The New Yorker, by Malcolm Gladwell, 10.09.09, referring to Ann McKee, who runs the neuropathology laboratory at the Veterans Administration hospital in Bedford, Mass.

"In the beginning, of course, there was the printing press."
--- first sentence of "Ranters and Corantos" by Richard Byrne, The Nation, Jan. 12, '09

"We're going to have a slow crawl in terms of a recovery. But the reason Warren Buffett is buying BNSF is a 10- to 20-year trend. For us near-term investors, it may seem curious. For him, the trajectory of the recovery over the next one or two years is irrelevant."
--- Matthew Troy, Citigroup analyst, about the 79-year-old Buffet buying the BNSF railroad

"It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor: for on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety."
--- Thomas De Quincey (1785-1859) in "Confessions of an Opium Eater"

(Editor's Note: Compiled, per usual, in St. Louis by Wilson, whose #2 son Lou recently was named the city's "Officer of the Year" in District 9. Keep your head down, Lou!)

An omen?

You are familiar, I know, with various religous iconography that sometimes appear in unexpected places.

I never have experienced that personally.

But I swear to you that the above image appeared on the fence a few mornings ago. It's the fence on the east side of the house.

Obviously, the rays of the morning sun were bouncing off something and appearing on the weathered wood of the fence, but upon investigation it was unclear what in the Sam Hill was reflecting the light.

The photo, taken with an iPhone, was not enhanced at all on the computer I'm now tapping on. I do not know how and have never attempted to use the PhotoShop thing.

So I'm taking this as an omen. My life is just going to keep getting happier and happier.

That is all.

Here comes the Texas Tribune

The nonprofit digital newspaper launches tomorrow with a staff of 11 reporters who have abandoned their jobs with established daily newspapers.

Why'd they do that?

Well, some of them are making up to $90,000 per year, far more than the vast majority of their ink-stained brethren, according to this column by Howard Kurtz.

Happy Halloween from The B'port News

The yin-yang of the Brazos & San Bernard

First off, I read there's doody in the alleged blue-green waters of the San Bernard River.

Two days later, the water's up, up, up.

Same deal with The Brazos, expected to hit 40 feet on Halloween.

See. It all works out in the end. Somehow. More will be revealed in the fullness of time.

quote/unquote ...

"The fact that a shrimp changes sex is extraordinary. They are born male, but they grow up to be females. I think if you know that, you'll eat shrimp with that thought in mind."
-- Isabella Rossellini, Newsweek 9.28.09, on her short movies about the sex lives of animals

"That was ugly. Allen was going to kill Larry Brown. He wanted me to fire him. And Larry Brown wanted him traded immediately. I just remember them sitting across from each other, and I was trying to explain to Larry that Allen sees him as the white jailer. That was just his experience. 'And Allen, you disrespect Larry when you say "(expletive) you" when he pulls you out of a game.'"
-- Pat Croce, former 76er owner, about Allen Iverson and his then coach, Larry Brown

"Johan Cruyff used to say he enjoyed hitting the post as much as scoring. He loved the sound. This might be why he is the greatest player of all time but doesn't have a World Cup winner's medal."
-- Mike Shallcross, during commentary today of Arsenal v. Liverpool, www.guardian.co.uk

"Their learning is like bread in a besieged town: every man gets a little, but no man gets a full meal." ---- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), talking about the Scots
"I don’t care if McGwire hit .500 for his career and hit 1000 home runs. The man (if you can call him that) is a cheater, a liar, and a coward. He is a disgrace to the game of baseball, the Cardinals (once great) franchise, the city of STL and every fan. The Cards might as well replace the beloved Birds on the bat symbol with Birds on a giant hypodermic syringe. As a fan of more than 30 years I find it disgraceful that the Cards F.O. would even think about bringing this cheating liar to the team. I cannot continue to support a team that allows disgraceful cheaters. The Cards will not get 1 more dollar from me as long as McGwire is part of the organization."

-- in St. Louis Post-Dispatch, a comment by reader who used the pseudonym "Monster"

[Ed.'s note: compiled, as always, by Wilson in St. Louis.]

A small example of government dumbassedness

The Oklahoma Department of Transportation heard about this new "social networking" thing called Twitter and paid a public relations firm $7,500 to set up a Twitter account.

"There’s no word if ODOT also bought the clear coat rust protection, extended warranty and a credit report monitoring service, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did," deadpanned The Lost Ogle blog in Oklahoma City, the state capital.

The wiseacre Lost Ogle gang added:

Hell, it only took us five minutes to create a fake ODOT twitter account and then analyze that it’s much better than ODOT’s official one. It’s more entertaining, too. Check these tweets out:

• Odds that the Crosstown Bridge crumbles today: 6%

• We shouldn’t have to tell u this, but don’t give money to the homeless guy on 1-44 and Penn.

• North Meridian between Reno and 23rd is an absolute cluster f*ck. Avoid.

Parking perils at the new Wal-Mart across the street from the new Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX

Howard, a convenience store clerk with whom I sometimes converse, took a public tour of the new Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX, during a trip to the D-FW Metroplex earlier this month.

It was during the annual Texas-OU Weekend in Dallas. He attended the game, but the story he was most interested in relating was something he learned during the tour of Cowboys Stadium, which he said took an entire hour and-a-half.

There's a brand new Wal-Mart across the street from the stadium, he said, and on Cowboys game days the operators of the Wal-Mart are not at all forgiving toward football fans who park in the store parking lot and cross the street to the stadium in order to save the parking fee, which ranges from $50 to $75.

Wal-Mart personnel, he said, patrol their parking lot writing down the license tag numbers of the cars that are parked there, and when they come back later and check on them, any vehicle parked there for more than an hour is towed away.

"It costs you $300 to get your car," Howard said.

Howard said the gentleman who gave his group the guided tour of Cowboys Stadium told him this and I have no reason to believe it is not true.

Furthermore, Howard said, there are no signs warning parking violators of what may be in store for them if they are using Wal-Mart to save the Cowboys Stadium parking fee. He based this observation on his own personal drive-by of the Wal-Mart to look for warning signs, but I must admit I find this part of his story hard to believe; perhaps he just didn't see the warning signs, especially if they are small and placed inconspicuously.

Nevertheless, it's this kind of treatment that makes people not want to go out of their house. That's all I have to say on the matter.

When You Get On The Whiskey, as set to a Benny Hill soundtrack

Iverson, Mora, Gundy, T.O. Mashup

Joan Baez - With God on Our Side (Bob Dylan cover)

Joan Baez - With God on Our Side (Bob Dylan cover)



Shared via blip.fm

Joan Baez - It Ain't Me, Babe (Live 1965)